Wednesday, February 23, 2005

I Told You Shakespeare Was Funny!

The website says that Rick Miller is a Montreal trained actor who has performed in 3 languages on 4 different continents - which sounds impressive until you realize it is nothing compared to mastering over 50 voices from The Simpsons!

Check out the clips. Insanely hilarious!

Baby, Baby, Baby (See, I Could Write a Pop Song)

Heidi had her baby! Several days ago, actually, and I am only getting around to talking about it now.

It was a very bizarre day. Her husband, Greg, called me and told me that they both wanted me in the labor room, they were on their way to the hospital, and they were coming to get me! (Hey, anything to get out of work!) The whole process took FOREVER, triage, getting admitted, going to the labor room, getting the epidural (urp) - except the actual birth. That took less than 20 minutes. She started feeling some pressure, the nurse asked if she wanted to push, and BOOM!


Man, that was weird. I think that's as close as I want to get to childbirth for a few more years.

Super cute kid, though - and they named her Mackenzie. If they had had a boy, they would have named it Logan, which would have been great because I could have bought him comic books.

The names people choose for their children never cease to fascinate me. In my work at the University, I hear all kinds of names - some very cool, some proof that the parents actually hoped their child got beat up daily. I found a blogger who is equally fascinated, and has a book about baby names and popularity of choice.

Check out this excerpt about Mackenzie:

Popularity: #46
Style: Androgynous, Celtic,Last Names First
Nicknames: Mac, Kenzie
Sisters: Kennedy, Riley, Reagan, Mckenna, Madison
Brothers: Logan, Brennan, Mason, Donovan, Hunter

'70s sitcom star Mackenzie Phillips was named by her rock-star dad John in honor of singer Scott McKenzie. It was an unconventional, aggressively androgynous choice at the time. But a generation later, the name is thriving in the mainstream. It's the standard-bearer for a whole crop of elaborate Celtic surnames for girls.

For some at-work-distraction, play with the name voyager - discover how un/imaginative your parents were!

Wednesday, February 16, 2005

Let's Get This Show on the Road, Already!!!!

My friend Heidi is pregnant and has been, in her doctor's words, "in active labor" since Sunday night. This kid has no hurry up about him whatsoever. I just want her to hurry up and have the thing so we can assign it a gender and stop calling it "the baby". It makes me feel like we're talking about a pet. As in, "the dog" or "the gerbil". "Honey, did you notice that 'the dog' ate 'the gerbil'? I guess 'the gerbil' didn't taste good, because now it's all over 'the couch'!"

Just kidding! I don't know of any gerbils that were devoured by dogs. I do, however, know that my brother Eric's dumb ass dog ate a turtle, less than 20 minutes after the turtle had come into Eric's possession.

The point of all this? I have become baby obsessed lately. I dream about being pregnant all the time (thanks, Heidi) and now I find that I am thinking about it on a subconscious level, according to Lauren Lawrence, World-Renowned Dream Expert, that is. I have this recurring dream that my teeth are really loose and falling out. Find out what this means at Personally, I don't buy it. I think I am just worried about being toothless before I am 35, what with all the candy that's laying around the house since my brothers moved in. I watched Ivan eat a 5lbs bag of Skittles in 2 days not too long ago. Eric got his girlfriend Natalie an 11lbs chocolate bar for Valentine's Day.

Also, there have been Jolly Rancher's lollipops at the front counter here at work.

Tuesday, February 15, 2005

Ay, Lads and Lassies!

Allen and I desperately want to go on vacation this year. Anywhere would be nice, but I would especially love to go to Europe. I definitely never thought I would get to be this old and have never made it out of the country - except for that one weekend in Montreal.

I was trolling along on several sites and came across this description of a project called The Knitting Map by a group calling themselves half/angel ( :

"Above the earth there is a satellite which looks down at Cork and watches the movements of people and cars around the city. Down in the hub, small cameras watch the city in detail and meteorological equipment tastes the weather. Through a strange technical alchemy, this information is transformed into a knitting pattern, which constantly shifts – some hefty cabling during rush hour; quiet lulls of stocking stitch on Sunday mornings; bobbles of blackberry stitches for the un-quotidian gatherings of Cork mortals. Down in the city there is a long empty room, with a semi-circle of chairs, where dozens of people knit for a year. They work in relay, their knitting moving slowly into the space between them, the strips sewn together to form a single vast document of the city. The hue of yarn shifts with the weather and the descent of the year. There is a quiet chatter and the occasional comings and goings of people arriving and leaving their knitting stations like genteel relay runners. Before each of them, a small digital screen details the next few lines of knitting and they lean forward to advance the pattern. During the day, people arrive to view the installation. They hear low voices and the tapping of knitting needles. Before them this great knitted cartography moves steadily along the warehouse floor and begins to pile up in the half-light."

It sounds a little nuts, but I absolutely HAVE to see this. There is even a spot on the website where they tell you what the knitters are working on at this moment in time.

Currently, the weather has a "value" of 53, which is "represented by colour 134 Biscuit".

The website says that the installation should have been open in January, but it looks like things are running late. Hopefully, I will be able to take a peek if we travel next fall....

Thursday, February 10, 2005

What the Hell Am I Even Talking About?

So, I did something dumb the other day. It actually started out as a nice thing - I donated $5 to one of the authors of a webcomic that I read all the time, Dorothy at She's delightfully surreal and hip, and I love her characters, so I thought it high time I send a little appreciation her way. She has this thing on her website called the "Donation Derby" - if you send her money, she will draw you a picture of how she spent it. She then posts this picture on her website and mails you a copy.

So I send her $5, and she puts up this cute little drawing of herself buying and listening to a record. The thing is, there was a little note under the drawing that said "I hate you exchange rate". Now, for some reason, when I saw this, I decided that I must have sent American dollars to someone dealing with foreign currency - and because I am always doing two things at a time, I got her confused with another artist I like who is Canadian. So I replied, "Sorry, I forgot about the exchange rate!", thinking I had stiffed her a few cents or something. To which she replied that I shouldn't worry because she had never told me that she was using the money to buy a record from Britain, to which I replied - "Oh, I thought you meant the Canadian exchange rate!" which was probably about the same as saying, "Oh, purple monkey feet!" or something similar.

The chick lives in New York, for crying out loud. Brooklyn, even. I'm afraid to look at what her response is now. It's probably something along the lines of "Whaa---?"

This is the kind of dumbass thing that I like to do, that I think only the cast of Seinfeld could relate to - except for the not having any humorous aspects part. Crud.

Friday, February 04, 2005

The Cat Says.....

Cat + keyboard equals -

kll pouiuum,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,mmmkjkm,lfffffffffvvvvvggggggsz

Why is it that cats are so in love with walking on the keyboard?

To the Woods We Go!

Well, guys, I'm off to Maine this weekend. Hope, Maine, to be exact. Not far from where I grew up, but a place I still managed to get lost in (several times) nonetheless.

If I'm not back by Monday, trusty readers, call the state troopers. Tell them I'm probably crashing around in somebody's back yard, and I didn't bring my orange vest.

Wednesday, February 02, 2005

I'm Sorry, Blog!

Lordy, lordy, how the time does fly when you are a.) covered in snow b.) trying to thaw your pipes and c.) trying not to vomit on your loved ones. What a suck-o week that was!

In other news, that adorable little marmot saw his shadow - 6 more weeks of winter!

Like winter has ever ended in goddamn February.

Punxsutawney Phil can screw himself.